VH1 is back with the series "Behind The Music" and Mary J. Blige was next in line. The R & B diva came clean about her addiction, relationships, music, friendships and more. One thing that was very shocking about the MJB story is what happened to her growing up. See what Mary had to say about her childhood and watch a clip from the Behind The Music with Mary J. Blige. More bonus behind the scenes footage here.

She said:

"When I was five years old I was molested and I remember feeling, literally right before it happened, I just could not believe that this person was going to do this to me. That thing followed me all my life. The shame of thinking my molestation was my fault. It led me to believe I wasn't worth anything."

She admitted the experience led to her "spiraling down" in alcohol and drugs. After abusing cocaine and alcohol, she looked years older than she really was, had dark circles under her eyes and her vocals were failing her.

"I really didn't care about myself; I was borderline suicidal. I was like the walking dead; just smoking and drinking and hanging."

She says her husband, Kendu, and prayer helped her get clean and sober. She also gave credit to Diddy.

"If it wasn't for him I probably wouldn't have made it this far in my career, because he pushed me, challenged me to challenge myself."