A Message from Your Friendly Neighborhood Tom Cruise: I Will Tase You, Bro
Let this be a warning to all neighbors of Tom Cruise: Do not drunkenly wander onto his property if you’d rather not be electrocuted.
Tom Cruise does not appreciate your shenanigans.
Cruise’s neighbor Jason Sullivan, 41, was apparently having an evening of intoxicated debauchery when he rather unwisely decided to scale the fence of the actor’s Beverly Hills home at about 9 p.m. on Sunday night — a little stunt that ended with him being tased by Cruise’s security team for trespassing. Because there is no greater threat than a middle-aged guy with a blood alcohol level roughly akin to turpentine.
Despite being lit up like the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, Sullivan still managed to take off on foot, but he didn’t get far. Police arrested him, and paramedics gave him a pimpin’ ride to the hospital in a shiny ambulance.
Cops believe that Sullivan, whose home is nearby, might have gotten confused in his drunken state and wandered onto Cruise’s property by mistake. Which means we’re supposed to think the dude regularly climbs his own fence because he likes to turn the normally mundane task of going home into some sort of video game adventure.
Tom Cruise was not at home at the time, possibly because he was testing out his newly-acquired Scientology skill: creeping on his ex-wife where she least suspects it.