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We Cast Actors for Lifetime’s Upcoming Flint Water Crisis Movie, Because We Can

Michigan National Guard To Help  Flint With Lead Contamination In Water Supply
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We picked the actors for the upcoming Lifetime movie about the Flint Water Crisis, because it’s going to be terrible anyway and we’re really good at this game.

Late yesterday word got out that Lifetime plans on making a Flint Water Crisis movie. The Flint water crisis is an important story that needs to be told. Ideally, it would be a serious drama filled with raw emotion, and complex portrayals of the human condition. But like we said, Lifetime is making it. Yes, that Lifetime.

The Lifetime Channel has a long reputation of making awful TV movies that are unintentionally laughable — they’re like the Syfy channel for chicks in that way. There was also that one time they intentionally made a bad-good movie called ‘A Deadly Adoption’ with Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell, which freaking ruled. To date, it remains the only Lifetime movie worth watching.

Since the folks that brought you NBC’s ‘The Wiz Live!’ and ‘The Sound of Music Live!’ are producing the project — there’s basically a 0% chance Lifetime airs a respectful tribute to the people of Flint, let alone a watchable one. Honestly, we’d rather see the movie handled like ‘A Deadly Adoption’ — a movie that knows it’s going to be on Lifetime, and truly embraces just how awful it is destined to be. If there’s one thing the people of Flint need in this time of crisis, it’s a good laugh.

It is with that in mind, we decided to suggest who should be cast in certain roles for the Flint water crisis movie. Before you light your torches and head for our station, just remember that we’re making fun of how bad Lifetime is at making movies — not the Flint water crisis.

 

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