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Chris Brown Is a Model Now. No, Really.

Chris Brown
Christopher Polk, Getty Images

It’s now apparent that trying to book ‘America’s Next Top Model‘ winners isn’t the only herculean task with which Wilhelmina Models is saddled. But this time around, they brought the pain upon themselves — because they’ve signed Chris Brown.

Yes, as a model.

The agency’s director Taylor Hendrich had this to say to CeleBuzz: “We recognize that Chris Brown is not just a voice, a dance or a lyric; he is a multi-faceted artist with a unique take on style, and we are excited to translate and extend his brand into these industries.”

We feel bad for the intern who had to sell a little piece of his or her soul to write that statement.

Of course the always-modest Brown thinks modeling is a logical step in his “evolution” since “art and style [have] always played a significant role in my life.”

We can imagine the photo-shoots now. Chris Brown artistically beating a woman. Chris Brown as an avant-garde terrorist. Chris Brown on a cross as his mother looks on adoringly. The possibilities are endless, really.

In yet more inexplicable news, Brown and his ex-Rihanna recently got back together in the music studio to perform a duet and keep people guessing about a possible reconciliation.

The song, a Michael Jackson-sampled ditty entitled ‘Nobody’s Business,’ is vaguely (read: blatantly) suggestive and according to the songstress, is inspired by the public’s fascination with her personal life. The fires of which she’s done nothing to stoke, ever.

The lyrics include gems like “You’ll always be my boy / I’ll always be your girl / It ain’t nobody’s business / But mine and my baby.” So stop talking about her, you guys. Stop it right now.

Except when she wants you to. Which is pretty much all the time. But other than that? Knock it off.

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