Five Things Not to Get a Flint Dad For Father’s Day

If he tells you that he's fine with going to the mall with you and the kids, he's lying.  No father from Flint wants to walk around the mall while you're shopping and he's babysitting the kids.  Think about how many outfits you try on, browse every rack, and stop into every women's only store while we stand and looks dumb.  If you were to follow men around in the mall it will be done in less than 45 minutes.  Stop giving the gift of boredom and spicy things up.

On Father's Day, please do not hand deliver a paternity test to a Flint dad.  You are looking for trouble if you think he's going to be happy about going through the process of finding out if he's the father of your child.  Just wait for another day or week before you ask him to take any test.  Father's Day is suppose to be peaceful so hold on preggo shawty.

Giving a gift of relaxation should be on the top of your list of potential gifts to give on Father's Day.  I believe every man will love to relax but please pick the best destination.  Do not give a weekend stay at the Genesee Towers and think you're going to keep the relationship healthy.  I would imagine he would think you're trying to make him homeless because no one is getting into Genesee Towers anytime soon.

So you think giving him a free for all pass to Dort Hwy is a good idea?  Please tell me how coming back with a drug addiction, STD, or never coming back is the best thing for Father's Day.  Exactly, you wouldn't want to ruin a man's life by allowing him to have a free pass to do whatever on Flint's throwback version of Las Vegas. This gift will be like pictures, giving a thousand words, 90 percent of them expletives.

Never in the history of Flint has it been safe to swim or drink from the Flint River.  It will not be safe to present the gift of Flint River White Water Rafting to a dad from Flint.  I was just downtown looking at the Flint River and thought to myself how dirty the water is and how bad it would be if I had to get in it for any reason.  Please, do not give dad any reason to get in the Flint River.