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Animal Feces Found on NFL Football Players’ Mouthguards

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When it comes to putting things in our mouth, we don’t get grossed out by a lot of stuff. Unless our ladies are a little funky downtown, then that’s straight up gross. But other than that, we’ll kick back with an ice cold bull testicle beer or down a cup of cat poop coffee with no problem.

But let’s talk about inedible stuff, like football players’ mouth guards. Those things are in athletes’ mouths for hours on end, and there’s no way the guys clean all that saliva crust off post-games. So you’d think after a while there would be a little nasty dirt buildup but nothing totally disgusting like animal feces, right?

Well folks, football players are suckin’ on animal poop. It’s true– a recent test of Indianapolis Colts’ mouthguards revealed the guys had a boatload of delicious substances hanging out in their mouths during games, like “blood, sputum, mouth discharges (tobacco products), chemicals, animal feces”. Mmm sputum– tasty!

When punter Pat McAfee was given the list of said substances and saw “animal feces” was on there, he didn’t know what it was. After being corrected, the dude replied, “God, that’s embarrassing I misread that. I kind of pride myself on my reading skills. I’m huge on grammar, and I’m reading ‘animal fences.’”

You keep suckin’ on that poop, McAfee. It’s doing your brain real good.

Next: Soccer team forced to pay up for sucking so bad

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