Hot Take: Let’s Just NOT Fix the Damn Roads in Michigan [OPINION]
It seems like everybody is fine with the roads staying just the way they are anyway.
Ever since the then-gubernatorial candidate Gretchen Whitmer made "fixing those damn roads" the cornerstone of her campaign, there has been endless debate over the "how" of that issue. Now that we're over half a year past her win, we've heard a handful of proposed solutions for Michigan's road funding problem and the only thing anyone can agree on is that everybody hates every single one of those potential solutions.
Earlier today I had an epiphany while reading a thread in a local Facebook group, where everyone was outright bashing every single option we have to fund the long overdue road repairs... which then, naturally, turned into everyone in the comments bashing each other. Just take a little peek at the action:
There's nothing out of the ordinary about this thread. Honestly, this is what every Facebook thread looks like these days. The only thing that is clear is that everybody hates all the options for fixing the roads... and that's when it hit me -- LET'S JUST NOT FIX THE DAMN ROADS!
Think about it. Why else would everybody be so down on every single possible idea to fix the roads? I'll tell you why -- they LOVE the damn roads. Sure, our roads suck. There are vehicle sized, tire eating, muffler ripping sinkholes all throughout this great state, but we've been dealing with them so long that everyone secretly loves them, apparently.
Our busted roads have become that old pair of sneakers you loved so much when they were new, but now they're old and worn out and you can't wear them in public anymore. You still keep them in the garage and occasionally mow the lawn in them as an excuse to keep them around because you can't bring yourself to throw them away. That's our roads. You don't want to find a solution because you love those old beat up things, and that's okay.
So continue sharing those memes about "why should we pay to fix the roads when the lotto taxes and license plate taxes and gas tax and blah blah blah." It's okay that we both know that even after those taxes there's still not enough to fix the roads properly. We'll just pretend like we don't know that so we can keep those old shoes in the garage. It'll be our little secret.
So, in summation, let's just not fix the damn roads... Unless you guys want to get serious about toll roads, because we should totally do that. Could you imagine if they put a few tolls on the major up north routes and charged double on holiday weekends? They'd make all the money. We wouldn't even have to spend it on the roads. Maybe they'd let us have it and use it for gas money or extra tires. That's how this works, right?